I started smoking Weed, like really smoking Weed when I was around 17 with my best friend at that time Joshua, an american DJ, working as a cook. We smoked only pure, without tabbac and went for hikes, hanging out at childrens playgrounds at night, listening to music all the time, watching stupid movies and eating a lot of sweets and stuff. After I graduated and went to the Capitol I smoked only like 1-2 times a month because I didnt had the best connections. After getting the connections and ever since my very own best friend started gardening weed, my usage turned out to be daily. Most of my closer friends smoke weed too. Since about 5 years I smoke Cannabis almost every day, since about 2 years every day! It makes me lazy, it makes me eat a lot of shit, which makes me depressive the next day, I hate it, I fucking hate it! I even smoke before work. I work with children. Every time I am not stoned, i imagine it being nice to smoke s yjoint now, get high, be inspired by it. Then i smoke get high and loose sll motivstion to do anything, get lazy, get paranoid, cancel all my plans and eat cookies and chocolate and everything left in my fridge.
I saw this Guy and my first thought was "oh, this boy seems to be no good for himself or anyone around him," And I knew, if Id fall for him i would have to be very aware of that! So we ended up being friends with benefits. Not fuck buddys because we never just met for sex. I love sex, and our sex always was great. But what I really want, what makes me feel comfortable, makes my dopamin flow and get me addicted is: cuddling. All day, watching movies, playing nintendo, eating ice cream, talking, having fun, telling each other stories of ones life. With him.. We do all that. And smoke a lot of weed. He turned out to be a nice boy. He picks me up at the train station every time for example, which i find very sweet. He listens to what I say I like and I dont like, and cares about it. At the same time he can be very rude, an asshole and being totally aware, and kinda proud, of it. I fucking hate this guy and I damn love him just as much! But its like its with all the drugs: just fun, a holiday from life, but not helping anything. We have no commitment and no perspective.